The Real Causes of Suffering. Not What You Think...
Suffering doesn’t come from the outside world. It’s not what happens to us — it’s what we hold onto inside of us, and what we believe about ourselves.
If we look closely, suffering often stems from five core misunderstandings. These aren’t just emotional habits — they are energetic patterns that keep us identified with illusion, separated from truth, and disconnected from the intelligence of the body.
Here’s what I’ve seen to be true:
1. Clinging to the Unreal
We suffer when we attach to things that are constantly changing — identities, roles, emotions, relationships, outcomes. None of it is stable. None of it is you. The more we try to make the impermanent permanent, the more disoriented we feel.
2. Fighting What Is
Suffering intensifies when we resist the present moment — wishing it were different, more comfortable, more “spiritual,” or easier. But the body tenses when we’re not in truth. Peace begins the moment we stop resisting and allow what is.
3. Mistaking the Ego for Who You Are
The false self — the one always trying to manage, fix, control, or prove — is never at rest. It isn’t real… but the consequences of living through it are: anxiety, inner tension, and a life that feels disconnected and small.
It operates in a constant loop of lack.
When we mistake the ego for who we are, we suffer. But when we see it clearly — not as a flaw, but as a construct — freedom begins.
4. Trying to Control Life
Control is an illusion that creates constant anxiety. The nervous system stays in a low-grade fight-or-flight when we live from “How do I make it all go my way?” But the moment we release the grip and allow life to move… something deeper takes over.
5. Fearing the Unknown
The unknown is not the enemy. It’s the space where truth lives. We suffer when we fear what we can’t predict — but we come alive when we learn to rest in what we can’t explain. When someone asked Ramana Maharshi what his secret teaching was, he replied: “The secret is... I don’t mind what happens.” It’s freedom. It’s resting in the truth that what you are is untouched by outcomes. When the grip of control softens, life flows — and peace is no longer conditional, your life positively changes.
These aren’t just ideas. You can feel them in your body.
When you soften around the idea of control… when you stop feeding the ego’s loop… when you allow this moment as it is… the nervous system responds. The body calms. The suffering begins to dissolve.
Not because you fixed yourself, but because you stopped believing you were ever broken.
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